The Key to Forgiveness

Some things I seem to have to learn the hard way. Maybe that's so I learn it well enough to share with others.
Learning the key to real forgiveness has been one of those things.

We know the Scriptures teach us to forgive those who wrong us. And I believe that, most of the time, when we feel we've been wronged we really do desire to forgive. We may be angry for awhile, and we may struggle with some emotional hurdles for a time. But we come to the place (hopefully sooner than later) that we really want to live in obedience to God. So we want to forgive.
Yet so often forgiveness is a monumental struggle, isn't it?

Our problem isn't a lack of desire. And we don't lack the capacity for forgiveness. After all, we have the Spirit of God residing inside of us.
Our problem is that, often without even realizing it, we feel as if we are owed something when we've been wronged. We want some kind of justice; an apology perhaps, or some other kind of emotional repayment that will give us a sense of satisfaction. And when the apology doesn't come we end up harboring unforgiveness.

We say we want to forgive; we say we'd like to move forward. Yet there's always that underlying sense that we need something in order to grant forgiveness.

The truth is that, in most instances, those who have wronged us either don't see that they have, or they lack the capacity to give us what we're holding out for. So what do you do?

Here are three simple steps to true forgiveness:

1. Make up your mind that the one who wronged you owes you nothing.
2. Realize this: The apology isn't coming. There will be no justice in this situation.
3. Forgive anyhow. Without any kind of retribution being exacted, choose to forgive.

If you're struggling with unforgiveness today, ask yourself honestly: What is it that I want in this situation? What am I expecting from that individual? What do I hope happens to give me some satisfaction?

Now realize: It ain't happening! Choose to forgive anyhow.