Why Am I ...?

I seem to be in that place of asking a lot of questions over the past few weeks.

This morning as I was praying, I asked the Lord this question: Lord, why am I so N-U-T-S about everything? Seriously, why am I so freaking intense about everything - I mean everything - that goes on? Check it out:

• Politics. The primaries. Super Tuesday. Republican. Democrat. Liberals versus conservatives. Who's saying what? Who's winning delegates? I wake up thinking about that stuff. I follow it with such intensity you'd think I was the one running.
• Sports. If you've ever watched a game with me, you know. Ask my wife and daughters. Football. Hockey. I can't sit still. I act like my teams need me to pull out a victory. I can't just sit and watch passively. No, I've got to fuss and holler. By the time any game I watch ends, I'm emotionally spent.
• Chrisitanity. Doctrine. Preaching. Teaching. I can't just deliver a message or teach a lesson. I seem to be consumed by it.

You name it, and if I've ever had even a fleeting thought about it, I've probably invested my soul into it to the point of almost losing my sanity. I struggle to cook a "normal" meal - in my mind, it's got to be something outrageous, something extraordinary. Conversation is difficult because my intensity level seems to rise to unnatural (and unhealthy) levels.

Why am I this way? Did God wire me this way when He knit me together in my mother's womb? Or did I fall on my head when I was little, causing irrepairable damage that makes me this way? Should I be seeking to change? To mellow-out as I get older?

I don't know why I am the way I am. But maybe it's a good sign that I am now asking the Lord why I'm like this. I don't know. What I do know is this: My wife and daughters deserve some kind of extra reward in eternity. Thanks, girls, for all the years of rolling your eyes and stifling a laugh, and saying, "That's just our dad" rather than running away.