"Jesus responds to desire. Which is why He responded to people who interrupted Him, yelled at Him, touched Him, screamed obscenities at Him, barged in on Him, and crashed through ceilings to get to Him. Jesus cares more about desire than about competence."
~ Mike Yaconelli - Messy Spirituality
As I get a little older, I'm coming to realize that spirituality (aka: life with Christ) is messy. It's not as neat and clean as I thought it might be, or as I have been taught. It seems that, contrary to popular belief, Jesus did not wave a magic wand over my life and pronounce me competent in all aspects of the life He has given me. In fact, I'm totally incompetent. I'm a mess. But I'm His mess.
For many years I've been taught to seek perfection. To live a holy life. That sounds like such a noble cause: I want to be a perfect believer; pleasing to God in all things. That's the tradition into which I became a Christian. It's the way of Pentecost. The holiness movement. And the Bible does say, "Be ye perfect even as I am perfect."
Of course, I've been frustrated with my lack of success most days and have seriously wondered how I could have missed the "God-thing" so badly. I don't pray enough. Don't read my Bible like I should. Not as committed as I know I should be. What am I doing in ministry anyhow?
Now I'm learning that I've had the wrong aim a lot of the time. I don't need to seek perfection. I don't need to live my life walking on eggshells and hoping I can "do better" today. I just need to seek God. Trust Him with the mess.
Here's another neat line from this neat little book:
"Spirituality is not about being fixed; it is about God's being present in the mess of our unfixedness."
2 comments:
What a great post! I read that bad boy two times.
Oh, hurray for that post... I'm 42 and showing no signs yet of being the perfect Christian I've fantasised about being. I still find basic things like concentrating while praying or reading the Bible a tall order, which is kinda ridiculous. And yet I do know God loves me and I occasionally also feel that to be true! And I do love Him even though I screw up a lot. And I'm glad He's in charge. I'm glad He doesn't actually NEED me but let's me tag along and help, like we let our kids "help" with the baking, even though it takes longer than it would otherwise!
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